For His Glory

I was struck this past Sunday as Pastor Caleb shared the message he had prepared for us at Cristo Rey. He preached from Acts 9, where Dorcas was raised from the dead miraculously. But-for what purpose?-Caleb questioned. Poor Dorcas had to come back to this broken world after passing on to eternity! I had never thought of her situation quite like this before. Caleb concluded that her miraculous resurrection from the dead was for one purpose alone-to display God's glory! He went on to say that everything that God does, and every time He heals someone, it's for God's glory. So often we pray that God would heal us and the situations in our lives with selfish motives. We don't want to struggle anymore. We want a break. We want tranquility. But our hearts are truly far from Him. What would happen if all God ever did was answer our prayers and fix our external problems in the way we often want? We'd probably continue struggling with the same selfishness and brokenness we started out with in the first place. It's amazing how He uses even our deepest pain and trials, to bring even deeper healing and beauty. However, we often don't long for His glory to be displayed in our situations in the way we should.

A few days later, the kids and I were reading in Mark 3. This is the second time we've encountered this story this past year, and I have to admit, it just grips my heart every time. I'll never look at it quite the same now that Joel is in my life. See for yourself:

 Jesus went into the synagogue again and noticed a man with a deformed hand. Since it was the Sabbath, Jesus' enemies watched him closely. If he healed the man's hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the deformed hand, "Come and stand in front of everyone." Then he turned to his critics and asked, "Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?" But they wouldn't answer him. He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts. Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." So the man held out his hand, and it was restored!

The year I was pregnant with Joel, I struggled a lot with identifying with God as my loving Father. I often felt that He wanted to use the hard things in life to teach me a lesson, and sometimes I buried my hope beneath pessimism and what I thought was "realistic" to keep from feeling disappointment. I remember clearly having some spiritual breakthroughs that year as I learned to trust in His love and compassion for me in a way that I never had. Then Joel was born, and I felt God's love and purpose through Joel in a way I'll never explain.

Two nights ago, Joel went through another routine sleep study, so him and I spent the night at the hospital. He slept pretty good, all things considered, except for waking up abruptly and unpleasantly in the middle of the night when his sleep technician needed to change out a little tube he had sticking in Joel's nostrils. I had lay down beside Joel and had my arm around his little body, and he hugged me as tight as he possibly could and kept pointing at his nose, crying, and saying mama after the technician left the room. When he would quiet back down, his arm wrapped around me so tightly, I was amazed at his trust in his mommy. He knew I loved him, even though I was allowing him to go through this, and I know he didn't understand why. I thanked God for the gift of having this little person in my arms. I am amazed by the trust Joel shows even in his discomfort.

So, back to Jesus and the man with the deformed hand. The first time after Joel's trauma with his pinkie (which can be read about here) that I remember reading this story, I wished that God hadn't allowed Joel's left pinkie to be so deformed. His hands were already deformed as it was, and his surgery to begin the process of restoring his hand, didn't result in the expected outcome! I was amazed that a man that had a deformed hand, just like Joel, had experienced the healing and compassion of Jesus himself when he was here on earth, and I wondered in my heart what Joel's healing would look like.

I've always known since the day Joel came into this world that his life is for God's glory. In fact, He created all of us for His glory. But we came into a broken world. We have most definitely, just like the man in Mark, been touched so deeply-every single part of us-by the effects of sin. We, along with creation, long to be healed for good, and God, in His love story to us, the Bible, shows us how-from the very moment Adam and Eve sinned-He planned to save us, heal us, rescue us, through Jesus. He continues showing incredible love and mercy in waiting that more can repent and come to Him before Jesus returns for His bride, the church, and judgment day arrives. We see glimpses of the glory of God through testimonies like this of the man from Mark. We see glimpses of His glory when a heart has turned from sin and miraculously been changed by God. And we also see glimpses of His glory when one of His children shows an unleashed and free heart, facing great difficulties in His name and understanding that the rewards of following Him are greater than any struggle we could ever face here. I can't even begin to imagine what the full glory of God on display will be like in Heaven!

I'm not sure what Joel's eventual healing will look like, but at this point, I have no doubt that my own healing is wrapped up in his. So, like I mentioned before, His love and purpose slowly starts to unfold in my life. The intriguing thing is that God's glory truly is displayed through healing! His creation, restored and healed to be able to rejoice in His works, love and worship Him as our God in the way we were created to do, brings Him glory! We will see that glory on full display one day! I'm going to end with this verse from Psalm 104:31: "May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in His works." I know that as we learn to trust His goodness and love for us more and as we grow in selfless adoration of Him as King and Creator of this universe, we will see His glory displayed in more and more amazing ways!

A New Year and New Season

Happy New Years to all! It's been a while!

It's a new year and a new season in the Lopez household! The big bumps of our ride these past years have started to level out a little, and life have started to find a rhythm. With the rhythm, my TCK (third culture kid) side is kicking in, and the itch to travel has begun! I am stuck right now in the in-between phase of a big move and transition. We are past the excitement and adventure of discovering a new place(and thankfully, past the hardship of facing major surgeries and setting up home in a new country all at once) and not to the point of feeling we have deep roots in the Dallas area. For me, this is always the hardest and most uncomfortable place of transition in some ways, but also a good place. It's a place that chases me back to the arms and security of my Father when I long for deep relationships and true community in a way that just takes time and work! Thankfully, although life changes, we change, and circumstances change, He truly never does!

Many have asked us if we plan to stay in the Dallas area now that Joel's main surgeries are done with for the time being. For now, yes. We feel the pillar of cloud and fire that led us here hasn't left yet, and we see doors opening up for us to stay. We are especially thankful to be in a place where we can go often to visit Marvin's brother, Javier, who has been in jail for the past 11 years, and we believe that God has planted us here to be close to him and encourage him during this time in his life. He has also been a tremendous encouragement to us in our faith as well! 

We are also grateful to be part of our church body, Cristo Rey, here in Dallas. Marvin is starting a new part-time job with our church this week and will be leading a Bible Study outside of church for Spanish-speaking immigrants in the area. We are grateful for this opportunity to serve. Please pray that God will continue to change our hearts and use even our short-comings for His glory. Pray that He will continue to teach us what it means to love like Jesus loves and share His good news of salvation with the people around us. Pray that we can be vulnerable and real as we continue learning what it means to lay our lives down and take up our cross.

In the midst of new challenges, goals and a new season, day to day life with Joel and Michayla continue to be one of the biggest jobs entrusted to us-striving, and sometimes blindly struggling, to shape their little hearts and teach them the ways of the Lord. It is a joy to see them growing and changing. This past week, Michayla randomly asked me, "Mommy, are we in Jesus's presence right now?" When I said yes, she said, "Then Mom...if we are in His presence, why do we complain in His presence?" I was taken aback! Was this profound thought really coming from my just-turned-four year old? I have thought a lot about her question this week. If we truly lived remembering every second that we are in His presence, if we truly feared Him in all of our ways enough to care that we sin in His presence, how would our lives be different? I love this little girl so much! I struggle daily to lay down my life for her, and God uses her daily to convict me and expose the areas in which I deeply struggle! She is truly a gift! We are like two peas in a pod in a lot of ways-two strong personality peas! We are pretty inseparable, yet we have to ask one another daily for forgiveness! When I ask her what I'd ever do without her, she tells me I'd just have to "cry, cry and cry" all the time! 

Joel is making big strides with his therapy! This past week he pulled up to a stand at our coffee table for the first time! He is gaining strength and making some big steps towards walking. He is also becoming way more comfortable with gravity and slithered all the way under the coffee table on his belly for the first time today! It has been a slow process requiring hours and hours of working with him and pushing him each week, but he continues to head in the right direction! We are grateful for the therapists that come to our home weekly to work with him and grateful to see results coming from the hard work! He is advanced with his fine motor skills which seems crazy considering his sweet little fingers! He is also smart beyond words! We are grateful to see our little boy, although behind in some things, understanding, learning, and thriving! He is obsessed with cars just like his daddy and obsessed with his daddy as well! The next steps in his medical care include: continuing to meet with his ophthalmologist and possible eye surgery, another sleep-study to screen for obstructive sleep apnea again and continuing to work on physical, occupational and speech therapy each week. Please continue to keep him in your prayers! 

It is crazy to think that the month of January is almost over! Another year and another month. The passage I have had on my heart for this year is Proverbs 4:25-26: "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in your ways." There are clear tasks at hand. As we put our hands to the plow, we pray that the Lord in His grace will help us to maintain steadfast as we seek to follow Him. 

Best friends

Christmas 2016

Blessed to have my mother-in-law stay with us for 6 weeks this past fall

Joel turned 2 on November 5th!